What to do when Hate becomes fashionable
A Culture that thrives on Hate and Division can never truly succeed
It sure seems like there is an entire group of people in our culture right now that are very proud to be exclusive. They run around to City Council meetings and take to the streets to protest and show the world just how much they want everyone to know that they are the “cool kids” because they know how to be mean. They say that they are representing a hearkening back to an older set of values that has been lost through the years of progressive movements and inclusive ideas. They don’t want to talk about race, gender identity, sexuality of any kind, differences of opinion, power deferentials, Diversity, Equity and Inclusion, education, abortion, healthcare, women’s rights or really anything other than making sure our borders are secure and keeping Corporations in power and making more and more money.
It has become acceptable and even encouraged to wield religions like Christianity as a weapon. A way to say that the White, Christian, Evangelical, Nationalistic ideals are the ONLY ideals that matter and are the ones that should be considered when the US is making legislative decisions.
You may be thinking that this is all being blown out of proportion. That REAL people in every day lives have not had issues with hate being a divider. I beg to differ.
Example 1:
One of my good friends is the parent of 3 kids. A non-binary teenager and a daughter and a son. She has been supporting her non-binary child since they started being honest with her about their gender dysphoria. They started seeing a therapist and have had a lot of support while they are going through this very difficult and layered experience. The other day my friend told me she pulled up to a stop sign at the same time as a large truck pulled up across from her at the 4-way stop. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. They stopped and then they both went straight after pausing briefly. She glanced over at this older gentleman as they went by each other and he looked at her and stuck up his middle finger with a super angry face, making sure she saw him and saying “F You!” loudly in his car. My friend was so confused. She couldn’t figure out what would cause him to do that. Then it hit her; she has a pride flag license plate on the front of her car. That is the only thing that it could have been.
Example 2:
A friend of mine from Grand Junction, CO-my hometown- shared this experience on Facebook the other day. She was out running errands with her wife’s car. The carseats for their 2 young kids fit in this car better than their other one so she was using it since she had her kids with her. She came out to her car and there was a piece of paper stuck to her windshield. It reads: “Liberal ass whore! Human rights is not killing babies!!” She has a small pro-choice sticker and a Human Rights Campaign Equals sign on her windows.
(Photo Credit Amanda Jackman on Facebook)
Example 3:
I have a friend who I met at my kids gymnastics gym. She has 3 kids and she is trans. She has lived in Nashville her whole life. She is a kind, loving, attentive mother with fun style and a very friendly personality. She just moved to NYC from Nashville after losing her mother to cancer and navigating living in a State that is currently actively trying to take away her rights to healthcare. A State that is encouraging people to be blatant and open about their hate of the trans-non-binary and LGBTQ+ communities by legislating restrictions and speaking with such ignorance and disgust about things they do not understand and are not even trying to understand. She told me she has to be careful about even trips to the grocery store because she never knows who is going to say something nasty or hateful to her. She does not feel safe. In a town she grew up in. Because Hate is allowed to be so out in the open.
I do understand that this hate has always been here. But it’s almost trendy now to talk about other people and their lives that you may not agree with in a way that spreads ignorance and fear. I see videos and posts from a lot of people who think they know what “God” wants and they feel responsible for telling other people how they should be living. What gives us the right to tell others how to live?
I live in Tennessee. One of the most Homophobic and Transphobic, racist, xenophobic states in the country. Our House just passed a bill banning Pride Flags from schools. The made sure to put a clause in the Bill that The American Flag, Tennessee state flag and the CONFEDERATE FLAG will be exceptions to their rules about not having flags that have a ‘political’ significance. You are not going to be allowed any signs that even have rainbows on them. They are banning freaking RAINBOWS!
So, here’s the thing. It is absolutely essential for us all to keep speaking up about this. The groups who are fear-mongering and hate-mongering are getting louder and louder. Being encouraged by their leaders and the echo chambers of their small communities and clubs that are full of people who only think exactly like they do. There are still so many beautiful people and communities around us. There is still so much love. Please do not be afraid to let it show.
We need each other. We need to show up and exist from a place of Love. We need to be a safe person for other people. We need to seek out people who make us feel safe.
And…we need to speak to other people about how close minded their views are. We can be a part of educating others to understand that we are all human beings and we deserve to live and be loved. We all deserve dignity.
Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. This does not come with contingencies. Everyone alive deserves these things. If you find yourself a part of a marginalized group, please know that you are not alone.
Sending so much love out to you in the ether,
Stef
A Quote to inspire connection: “The World is not a pleasant place to be without someone to hold and be held by.” Nikki Giovanni
A song to lift your spirits: