It’s time for another prompt card! Not because I cannot think of anything to write about, but because I can THINK OF TOO MANY THINGS to write about! Ha!
Sometimes to combat the swirling twirling thoughts I need to just sit down and write. These prompt cards from Morgan Harper Nichols help me to do just that.
The question is this:
A lot has happened over the last 10 years of your life. What’s still true?
Well. Let’s think about this. 10 years ago was August of 2014. My life then was very different logistically. I had a 4 and 2 year old and was starting to talk to my husband about thinking about having a 3rd child. I was still living in my current home but it was very different than it is now. We added on 1200 square feet in 2018. I had just earlier that year lost my dog to a terrible tragedy. She was killed in our back yard by a pack of dogs from down our street. I was babysitting little kids during the week to supplement our family income while staying home with my littles. My 4 year old was in Preschool at the Public Montessori school in our neighborhood. I was still going to the church I was raised in. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I was in the beginning few years of my own self-compassion and self-development journey.
Now, I have 3 kids. The 4 year-old is now 14 and the 2 year-old is almost 12. I have a 3rd who is 8 1/2. I live in the same house but it is twice as big and I love it so much. It took a lot of blood, sweat, tears and loss to get it to this point and it’s now one of my favorite places on the planet. I have the BEST bookshelves in the world. I have a dog who we have had now for 9 years. We got her a month after our tragic loss. I run my own business. Life Coaching, Teaching and House Cleaning all fall under my umbrella. I have progressed very far down the road of self-awareness and love and compassion. I am passionate about mental health and an activist and cultural coach. I am not a member of the LDS church anymore. There is A LOT to talk about in that realm but I am learning how to best go about it as I have a lot of criticisms of the church and its doctrines but many people I love who still believe and follow the church’s teachings and I don’t want to hurt anyone. But there is a lot to be discussed in that avenue.
So, logistically, there are a lot of things about my life that are different. Let’s talk about what is still true.
I am an advocate for the underdog. I always have been and always will be. There is a reason they are underdogs. Privilege and wealth and opportunity have created spaces for people to be successful. We all know that men have more opportunities to be successful than women, white people have more privilege than Black people and Indigenous and other people of Color. We know that there are very real and true reasons why society is based on Hierarchies. Power structures are formed to benefit certain types of people. Those people do not want to lose their power so they uphold the values they are told to by the system. Even people not at the highest level of the ladder in a system of power will work to uphold the systems so they can climb the ladder and get closer and closer to the top. This is true for many different ladders. Race, gender, sexual orientation and many more. The people at the bottom of the ladder need to be kept there by the systems of power in order for it to function. By giving access to healthcare, wealth and other necessities to the people at the bottom of the ladder, we negate the need for there to be a ladder. This is the work of collective Liberation that Black Women have been leading us all in for hundreds of years. I am interested in being a part of this work and of dismantling the systems of Hierarchies that pit us against each other. I will work to keep uplifting the underdogs until we have a circle of care that everyone benefits from. Not just the lucky/wealthy/privileged few.
I care deeply about humanity. I found one of my old college papers recently from my Freshman year. 2002/2003. I wrote about the need for access to housing for homeless people and how it is our collective responsibility to care for people who need help. Turns out, I was always an activist I just didn’t know it back then. I am a highly-sensitive and strongly empathic individual who has always carried the weight of the world on my shoulders. I didn’t used to know that I could learn to shift this weight. It used to crush me. It still does, sometimes. But I have learned now that I CAN shift it. I have more control over it then I used to think. I also have learned the hard way that there are a lot of people who do not care in the same way. I am learning to accept this even if I will never fully understand why.
I love my family and friends and am very relational. I care about connection. I treasure my connections with family and friends and I am always looking for ways to deepen those connections and seek people in my life who help me feel seen, heard and loved. I also understand that sometimes people cannot give you what you may want from them. I love them anyway. I am not going to shut off a person just because they can’t always show up in the ways I want them to. That would be very selfish of me.
I feel things deeply. The Mariana trench only scratches the surface of my emotional depth. I cannot help it, nor do I want to. I like being a deeply feeling person. Here is one of my favorite quotes from Glennon Doyle:
I'm not a mess but a deeply feeling person in a messy world. I explain that now, when someone asks me why I cry so often, I say, 'For the same reason I laugh so often--because I'm paying attention. ' I tell them that we can choose to be perfect and admired or to be real and loved.
I am a deeply feeling person in a messy world. Therefore, my reactions to the heaviness of knowing how the world can be is correct.
I will never stop being curious. I was born with a thirst for knowledge and a passion for discovery. Self as well as collective. I will never stop learning. There is SO MUCH TO KNOW, Y’ALL! I cannot wait to see what I get to learn over the next decade. This last decade has been very personally transformative for me. I have a different worldview and religious views than a decade ago. I have different views on the afterlife and religion in general. My Spiritual journey has been incredible these last few years and I feel Spiritual in a new way. “Curiosity killed the cat” is a way to keep people from questioning. To keep us small and uninterested in experiences outside of our own. I have been able to teach, connect and coach with hundreds of people in the last few years and I have been taught and changed by each of them. I am so happy to be a curious feline! I will never stop having questions and seeking learning.
I am curious, (see what I did there?), what are some things that are still true for you now that were important to you 10 years ago?
We all have core values and beliefs. But, as I have learned in this decade, even those things can change. What stays is me. Who I am still feels the same. I actually really feel as if the last few years of shifts and changes is bringing me closer to my Truest version of myself. So, what stays true? If we change our beliefs and values, what sticks? I really feel that I am passionate about the same things. I have just found even deeper ways to explore and express my passions and beliefs. I am grateful for my life and the ability to learn and grow and change.
"There is nothing permanent except change." — Heraclitus.
This is a universal truth. As the world changes, we have the ability to change too. Not because we are influenced by outside sources but because at our core Selves, we are instruments of change. We can create a world that has never been seen before by working to change the things that are flawed or just flat-out wrong with the way the world currently works.
How lucky are we?
Sending love to you out there in the ether,
Stef
A song for a moment of deep feeling. :)