I have a note in my notes app that simply says: “You don’t know what you will find beauty in.”
I believe it was something that someone said in a podcast I was listening to the other week. I stopped and “wrote” it down because I wanted to ponder more on that. So here I am, pondering.
I think we all can agree on how easy it is to put ourselves and others into boxes. We look at a person and see what kind of clothes they are wearing, what shoes, what car they drive, what designer sunnies or what mud-caked boots, and we decide a lot of things about them. Some of the things may be correct, too.
It is one of my favorite things to see someone’s contradictions. Ideas that you do not think go together in a certain personality or political affiliation.
For example: My husband is known as “Granola” in his band and friend group. He is the hippie child who everyone sees as very liberal-minded. You may not believe it when you find out that he grew up hunting every year with his dad and uncles and he owns guns. Multiple rifles and a handgun. It’s not what you would expect if you looked at him and had a get-to-know-you conversation. But he, like all of us, has a complex history and a multi-faceted story.
All humans are full of contradictions and juxtapositions. We are all complex webs of ideas, experiences, perspectives and unique thoughts that make us into who we are. Every single one of us has such depth. Some of us don’t choose to probe those depths as much as others might. I, being an Enneagram 4, absolutely love to probe the depths of myself as well as other humans around me.
Ah! Here I go again, putting myself into a box!
We all have so many things that we look at and decide are beautiful or not. And I want to issue a challenge to you. Why don’t you pause after your initial emotional reaction to something that you see that usually inspires disgust or disdain and see if you can move through the reactionary emotions and into some curiosity. What might you find, you ask? I challenge you to try and see something beautiful behind something that you used to be repelled by.
Take, for example, a Cicada. (Blame it on the double broods that have been nesting at the base of my trees for the last month!) They are huge, loud, clumsy, derpy bugs. They crunch when you step on them and it’s sooooo gross. They are loud and they have taken over the yards of many in the Eastern US who despise them.
But have you seen their wings? The intricacy of a single cicada wing is enough to give anyone pause…
I am someone who is fascinated by nature in all its layers and complexities and I think most of us can find something beautiful in the natural world around us when prompted.
So I want to challenge you to start this practice with something natural that you don’t love. Next, move on to looking at a human that you may not understand or think you know the “truth” about. Try and find something beautiful about a person who you maybe have a hard time with. Look around at the daily judgements that you make and see if you can pause and move beyond those judgements and into curiosity about that person- in all their humanity. See if you can find one thing that you may find beautiful about them. It may be something simple like their eyes, or something more personal like how they treat their aging grandparent. It may be how they love their children or spouse or it may be that they love something that you also love. Like a musician or an artist.
What can you find beauty in that you may not have been able to notice before? Who can you see a morsel of something beautiful in?
You do not have to become best friends, with the Cicadas or the person you don’t like, but you can practice shedding some of the boxes that we tend to put things into.
Boxes of ‘likes’ and ‘dislikes’ that we tend to not question.
I encourage you to question them. Seek for beauty in the normal, everyday things. Appreciate a small heart-to-heart interaction with a person at the store. Sit outside and listen to the sounds of nature for a few minutes and reflect on how it can clear out the cobwebs in your mind and give you a fresh perspective.
Try it. Let me know how it goes.
Beauty is everywhere, we just have to be willing to see it.
Sending love to you out there in the ether,
Stef
This song is about beauty. It is also written by my 13-year old daughter. She is a beautiful human. I love her heart, her voice and her message. Take a listen.