I have written in journals since I was a little girl. The one I have that is the furthest back is from 1992 or 93. I was 8 or 9. I started out just jotting down thoughts about my day. A play-by-play of my little kid life and little kid musings.
I have been consistent in writing in journals ever since then. There are some journals that I filled over the course of a year or two and some that were filled in more like 3 or 4 years. I didn’t write every day but enough to have a lot of full volumes now. I was always taught at church as a kid that we needed to document our testimonies at least. That we could someday share them with others and it was a way for our families to know about our lives. Little did 9-year old me know that the internet was on its way and we would all be documenting our lives on overdrive over the next few decades in the forms of our social media channels. I began using my Facebook page and Instagram feed as journal entries. I have dabbled in blogs over the years and still occasionally go back and read my old blog posts. It’s a fun way to look back and celebrate memories of the years past.
Here are a few of my journals. All 3 from different eras of my life.
(Also, all of the people with kids older than yours constantly telling you that time goes by way too fast… they were right. It does).
I have always been a verbal processor and I think writing things down and reading them back to myself has helped me make sense of my life in ways that I couldn’t just living it.
For this reason, I still write. I still journal and keep things written down. These days it’s in the form of my notes app and Substack and the various notebooks in my office and purse that I like to write things down in. I love a good notebook, don’t you?
I had a very sweet moment the other night. I pulled some of my old journals off of my bookshelves and was looking through them. I found the one from the year that I started dating my husband, Matt. 2006. It was a big year for me. I graduated College with my Bachelor’s degree, started dating Matt, my first “real” boyfriend. I moved around a bit, living in a few different cities after the summer and began my actual adulthood. Finding a job, making my own choices and arguing a bit with my parents who were not super happy with some of my choices. Ah, memories.
Anyway, I began reading some of the journal entries to my kids. It was so fun to listen to them giggle about what I said about their dad. Haha. I really liked him. ;) They asked a lot of fun questions and my oldest was floored about all of the fun stuff we did in a single day then. I was a little floored myself, ha! How did I have that much energy?? But it really was an amazing time. Hanging out with my best friend, Christopher and my boyfriend, Matt. We did a lot together and had a blast.
Here are my amazing bookshelves. Matt built them for me in 2020.
They all couldn’t believe how much I wrote. They each took turns reading through some of the pages and I pulled a few other journals off the shelves to glance through. What special memories.
My 2 youngest kids both started writing in their journals that night and at least one of them has kept up with it since then. I told them it doesn’t matter that every day is not a super extraordinary day, it matters that you tell your story from YOUR point of view. You will forget how you felt, but if you write it down, you will remember it. It seems simple but it can be tough to keep it up.
My oldest says she just feels like she has nothing to share. Her life is boring and nobody cares about her regular comings and goings. I just told her that it will matter to her someday. She will be sitting around with kids or nieces/nephews or maybe grandkids or friends (I don’t expect my kids to have kids unless they really want to), and someone will ask her what it was like to grow up in Nashville in to 2020’s after during COVID times and the craziness of the world. And she can tell them. They will care very much.
When I wrote these things down all those years ago, I never pictured who would be sitting there reading them 20 years later. I hoped I would be able to share them with my kids but didn’t know for sure. It was a super special night and I will never forget it.
For any of you who feel like you don’t have anything worthy of sharing, please just write. It matters. For you and for others but especially the YOU part. Share your story. Your perspective. You are unique and your voice is yours to share and offer. Don’t be afraid to take up space.
Sharing a favorite quote from Sue Monk Kidd in “The Book of Longings:”
A prayer written and offered by the main character, Ana.
“Lord our God, hear my prayer, the prayer of my heart. Bless the largeness inside me, no matter how I fear it. Bless my reed pens and my inks. Bless the words I write. May they be beautiful in your sight. May they be visible to eyes not yet born. When I am dust, sing these words over my bones: she was a voice.” (emphasis added)
― Sue Monk Kidd, The Book of Longings
Sending love to you out there in the ether.
Stef
Here is a song that I love that always makes me feel peace.