This week my youngest daughter’s school had to go on a Lockdown. Not a drill. A Lockdown. Lights off, doors locked and blinds drawn, quiet. There was an active shooter in the complex behind the school that has a Publix and a few restaurants and a strip mall with other businesses. Because of the proximity, they did the right thing and took precautions. The kids were never in direct danger… this time.
A man and woman were fighting outside one of the restaurants and the man pulled his gun on the woman, his girlfriend, and was screaming at her. Surrounding people called the police and they got there quickly and shut down the roads. The man was screaming and yelling and pointed the gun at his own head threatening to kill himself. The police were able to de-escalate the situation and no one was hurt and they took him into custody. (Thank goodness).
My daughter is 8 years old and in 3rd grade. She has had lockdown drills before but never gone into full-on lockdown until now. She is someone who struggles with anxiety a bit already and has had a rough few months learning how to deal with her very large and scary feelings. That night at gymnastics she said she couldn’t stop thinking about the Lockdown. She said it was really scary. At first they thought someone was inside the school. We are a hop, skip and a jump away from The Covenant School where, just over a year ago, multiple 4th graders were shot and killed along with the Principal and Custodian and another teacher. Our kids all have to be privy to the reality that is being a school aged kid in the USA today. They live every day knowing the possibility of an active shooter situation is a real threat.
My child had a lot of trouble sleeping that night. She didn’t want to go to school the next day. She was nervous and agitated. She told me she was afraid for US. My husband and I. She was scared that we were going to be at the Publix grocery shopping and get hurt. They did tell the kids there was a shooter in the Publix complex. She was afraid for her classmate who said they knew their mom was shopping at Publix that day. She was afraid. She has been nervous every day since. She is starting Occupational therapy soon anyway and we are doing a lot of coping things to help her with her anxiety.
AND
IT’S NOT ENOUGH! We cannot keep thinking that we can just figure out how to cope while the world is FUCKING BURNING around us!! I am so sick and tired of people telling us to just cope with our anger, fear, stress, and anxiety etc. We do not just need coping mechanisms. We need systemic change, y’all. We need the people who hold power to actually care about keeping American kids safe at school. We need REAL SOLUTIONS THAT ARE NOT TONE DEAF TO WHAT THE PEOPLE WANT!
I live in Tennessee. Last school year our State Government passed a law that said that teachers and support staff in public schools would be able to carry a gun inside the building. They said this was in response to the Covenant shooting and they believed it was going to help. The law said the person who carried the gun would have to go through some training and they would have to have the weapon concealed.
I asked my kids when this law was passed if they would feel safer knowing there was a teacher or staff member with a gun inside the school. Absolutely not, was their reply. They would feel scared and on edge even more than they already are. They do have school resource officers on their campus and they do say they feel safe knowing the officer is trained and, (ideally), trustworthy.
(Sidenote: the current law in TN says that people over the age of 18 are allowed to CONCEAL and OPEN carry in public spaces in the state of TN with no official training. They can walk into a Wal-mart, purchase a gun and carry it with them on the street if they so freaking desire. I think it’s interesting that they still can admit that training is needed if a teacher was going to have a gun in the school but they don’t put laws in place that say ordinary citizens need training or a background check or no history of violence mental health screenings. They also don’t let 18-year olds have a drink of alcohol… but they can carry a weapon that can KILL SOMEONE and it’s fine. The priorities are so skewed and make no sense).
Know what happened after the law was passed through the state legislature and signed into law by Governor Bill Lee?? ALL OF OUR SCHOOL DISTRICTS OPTED OUT. Not a single school district has decided to put that law into action because NO ONE IN THE SCHOOLS WANTED TO DO IT!
This is what I mean when I say that those in power are not listening to what the people want from them. They are doing what they are going to do and plugging their ears and singing a tune so they can pretend they didn’t hear the thousands if not millions of parents and teachers and administrators saying THIS IS NOT WHAT WE WANT!!!
Imagine what they could have done with the time it took for the Bill to be drafted and debated and put through committees and voted on in the House and Senate and then sent to the Governor’s desk?? Imagine what they could have done if they had listened to the thousands of people who had been standing on the Capital Building steps and in the gallery with signs and chanting for stricter laws on Gun Control? Imagine what they could be doing with this time if they cared. Truly.
I AM SO ANGRY!
I am angry that so many people in power are putting money and corporate greed in front of the possibility for real change.
I refuse to accept that this is the world we are stuck in. We can do things differently. WE can come together to make changes so our kids are safer at schools. This must happen. Too many lives have been lost and too many more will be lost.
I am so exhausted from trying to play nice and not ruffle feathers while babies are dying IN SCHOOL!!
My sweet 8 year old is absolutely right to feel scared. She is absolutely right to worry. She is CORRECT! So what the hell do we do??
I refuse to just think that it is our individual responsibility to learn to cope with the shitty circumstances. I will help her, and teach her and love her and be here for her.
AND
I WILL KEEP DEMANDING CHANGE.
For my kids, tweens and teens and for yours. For the poorest of the poor and the richest of the rich. I care about ALL OF THE PEOPLE.
We can and must do better.
Also, it’s okay to be angry. Our anger is the compass that shows us the way. It teaches us what we care about. I absolutely care about kids being safe at school. And the grocery store, gas station, movie theater and club. I care about queer kids and straight ones. Trans and non-binary. I care about white and Black and Asian and Hispanic and every other person with all colors of skin. I care about us all. We deserve to live.
Anger is the compass. Love is the arrow that will carry us where we need to go.
Sending love, along with the anger, out to you there in the ether.
Stef